Hold that Thought

Bad Things

2011-06-06T02:11:00.000-07:00

I've never understood why bad things happen to good people, and it's even more difficult when you're that person.

My Grams was a good person who had a lot of bad things happen to her. Her husband was unfaithful, and she suffered in her last years of life. But, more important than these bad things, is the fact that she was strong and resilient throughout her life.

Eventhough something bad has happened to me, I will remain strong. I've always had a good head on my shoulders, and I'm not afraid to work for what I want in my life. The unfortunate thing is that I have no control over the way others negatively impact my life.

Now that I have Harper, I have an even stronger drive to pursue the good things in life.

Waiting for Harper

2011-03-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

Chris and I only have a couple more weeks before our little girl makes her debut! It's so crazy to think about, because a part of me never thought this day would come. We've been through sooo much, and Harper is our miracle baby! I can't wait to meet her :)

I'm feeling very tired, especially now that I'm sick with a head cold :/ Grr... Chris and I have a lot to do around the house, and sometimes it feels like we'll never get everything done. But, I'm not that worried about it, which is pretty unnatural for me. I'm comforted by the fact that Harper will have all of her needs met by Chris and me, and it doesn't matter if the house is spotless or not for our parents.

We completed our three classes at the hospital. I think I learned the most at the breastfeeding class. I'm really excited to put everything we've learned into action!

My sub will be shadowing me next week, so she's comfortable teaching my class while I'm on maternity leave. So, the secretary told me not to go into labor until after next week ;) We'll see...

Words really can't explain how excited I am to meet our little creation!!!

2010 Highlights

2010-12-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

In 2010...

We bought our Dream House!

We realized our dream of becoming pregnant and survived a miscarriage.

We turned 28 :)

We finished yet another school year. Mine at Cesar Chavez Elementary School teaching 4th grade and Chris's at Arizona Western College as an Athletic Trainer.

Chris traveled -- Lake Powell and across the country and into Canada!

We became pregnant again and are joyfully awaiting the birth of our daughter, Harper Rae!!!

We spent a few days in Flagstaff :)

I started and stopped my second master's degree. It's funny how a baby changes everything!

I did dance stuff -- AWC Dance Team, taught Basic Ballet for Adults at Yuma Ballet Academy, participated in Ballet Yuma's production of "The Nutcracker."

We bought Brownie, a used suburban :)

We hosted Thanksgiving dinner.

Chris went to TX with AWC football!!!

We celebrated Christmas in Tucson :)

Feeling Like Myself Again

2010-12-03T18:03:00.000-08:00

When you're pregnant, there's a period of time that you don't feel like yourself. You're sick, tired, crabby, lathargic, etc. Well, I'm finally leaving most of those things behind! The funny thing is that as soon as I started feeling like myself again, I started looking different - BELLY! It's the strangest thing.

The Beauty of Sharing

2010-11-24T03:08:00.000-08:00

Harper is already a very fortunate little girl, because we have so many friends and family members who've been excited to share there baby stuff with us. Glenn was the first person to give Harper a present - the softest baby blanket ever and a few books. Then, JoJo gave us sparkly, pink tennis shoes that make me wish I wore a sie two - they're sooo cute :)

But, what I'm most thankful for are the people who are loaning us stuff that they no longer use, or at least don't need right now. Cathy is giving us a crib, cradle, and clothes for Harper and me. Since those are some of the necessities, I'm really happy to have them. Also, Jeff and Laura gave us a bathtub, bouncer, Bumbo seat, and a bunch of bottles and sippy cups. Wow! We're lucky :)

We've also had two people volunteer to be on-call babysitters, which is amazing (especially when you don't have family in town).

All in all, I feel like things are starting to come together. It thrills me that so many people already love and support Harper at 21 weeks of life! We're sooo fortunate :)

April 6, 2011

2010-10-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so since I found out I was pregnant on July 31st, all I can think about is my baby who is due for arrival on April 6, 2011. Pregnancy is the most consuming experience I've ever had in my life! Chris and I have experienced some of our greatest joys and greatest sorrows because of pregnancy - it's truly amazing!

Just so you know, we're planning to find out our baby's sex on November 4th, which is right around the corner! I'll keep you posted :)

Chris and I are going camping this weekend, and I'm planning on him taking a picture of my ever expanding belly pooch, so I'll post that too.

We've already picked out names too. If it's a boy, his name will be Adam Wayne. Wayne is Chris's dad's middle name. If it's a girl, her name will be Harper Rae. Rae is short for Rachael, which is my mom's middle name. For obvious reasons I didn't want to go with Rachel or Rachael again ;)

I've already been informed that the Murphy grandparents are going to be traveling to Yuma once a month when the baby comes. We've also had people volunteer to babysit for us! In general, the support we've received from our family and friends has been incredible.

I'm so content now. I only wish I could've known this would be my reality back when I was struggling with infertility and the miscarriage.

This baby is proof that everything in life happens for a reason. I always knew that, but now I believe it.

Rekindling Old Interests

2010-07-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel old, because I don't do any of the things I used to. Like playing my flute, dancing, creating things, like art and stuff, writing notes, decorating photo albums etc. I think I've stopped doing most of this stuff because of a lack of time and energy. It's kinda sad in a way. Almost like losing a part of yourself. It makes me think of my favorite movie of all time, The Notebook, when Noah gets Allie to paint again.

I'm trying to make a few lifestyle changes that will enable me to do some of the things I used to do. Well, for one I'm going back to college. *sigh* I'm getting in better physical shape, so hopefully I can take a couple of ballet classes a week. And, I just might pick up my flute again. It definitely needs some TLC before I do anything too serious! I think I'll get back into the art stuff once we have a child in the house, because I think it's the perfect entertainment for a kid :)

5 days

2010-06-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I started a five-day high-fiber cleanse called Reset. The program consists of three meal replacement drinks, two snack bars, two vitamin packs, one cup of fruit, and one cup of veggies. I thought it was going to be very difficult, but I was surprised last night when I felt full before finishing my greenbeans. The cleanse is designed to regulate your sugar levels and curb the cravings, especially of carbs. The average person loses five pounds during the cleanse. So far, I've lost one pound.

Summertime!

2010-06-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

Chris and I are becoming more and more settled in our new home. We've recently order blinds, installed ceiling fans, and are receiving new to us living room furniture.

Foster care will soon be a reality as we recently completed all of the paperwork. The kids bedroom is sooo cute, if I don't say so myself.

Chris is heading to Philly on Friday for the national convention. He'll be on the road for quite a while, because they're driving through Canada on their way home. He's super excited to be traveling in a showhauler!!! And, I'm jealous!

I'm going to have a couple of visitors while Chris is away. My dad's coming to town for Father's Day and my mom's gonna bring Imara at some point. It's so nice having people over at our new home! I'm never going to get tired of it!!!

We finally have cable and Internet at home, so I'll be connected with the world again :)

I'm just trying to enjoy my summer vacation as much as possible, because I'm going to have a busy fall.

Right now, I'm reading The Bridge. If you love American History, Civil Rights, and Barack Obama, you'll LOVE this book!

Our animals are doing well. Zeus's age is starting to show. He's showing us that his hearing isn't what it used to be! Unfortunately, Sharky, the beta fish from my classroom, died a few days ago. I made a new home for him in a 5-gallon jug, and apparently it was too much for him to handle.

I've decided to become a principal, so I'm beginning my second masters in the fall. It'll take me about two years, depending on how things fall into place.

Chris and I are anticipating the arrival of a foster child in the near future. And, since the miscarriage in May, we're just about ready to start trying to conceive again.

This fall, I'll be coaching the AWC Dance Team and teaching adult ballet at Yuma Ballet Academy. I'll probably tutor as well. I've also applied to be a PDS Instructor for ASU.

I like to have a full plate, but I'm going to slow down when children come into the picture :)

Youtube

2010-01-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

I've recently created a youtube account, so I can share videos with family and friends. Check it out at youtube.com/rmurphy3256

Hello there, 2010!

2010-01-02T07:38:00.000-08:00

2009 turned out to be a pretty good year, even though I didn't get a couple of the things I really wanted, like being accepted into the doctoral program and conceiving a child. I'm still working on the latter ;)

In August, I began a new job as a 4th grade teacher at Cesar Chavez Elementary School in San Luis. I'm also a reading tutor and Pom Squad coach at the school. I'm very happy there, and I plan to stay there until life tells me otherwise. I took on a few extracurricular activities as well, including "So You Think You Can Moonwalk?" (a tribute to Michael Jackson and dance contest), a fashion show, the Nutcracker, and coaching the AWC Dance Team. So, I was very busy, but this semester should be a little slower.

Chris and I began our foster care/adoption training and certification process, which is STILL in the process of being completed. Ugh! My hope is that we'll be certified by February. Eleazar, our agency liason, was in the process of moving and, subsequently, ignored us for a few weeks. But, no, I'm not bitter! His delay did give me the opportunity to make two trips to IKEA, in Phoenix and San Diego, to buy everything I needed and wanted for the bedroom.

After trying to conceive a child for one year, we began testing for infertility. I had bloodwork done and a few tests and exams, and my doctor concluded that everything with me is normal. That was a very expensive and painful relief! Chris recently had a semen analysis, but we have yet to get the results. My doctor seems to believe that nothing's actually "wrong" with us, but we're part of the 7% of couples who take two years, or longer, to get pregnant. It has been a year and a half, so time will tell.

Chris experienced a lot of success during the football season this year! They won their conference, and went to Biloxi, MI for a bowl game. He began using the P90X workout system this semester to help him get through the grind, and itpayed off! This was the first football season that he didn't lose weight. Instead, he gained weight and now I call him my muscle man :)

We spent the holidays in a few places--Phoenix, Tucson, Thatcher, and San Diego. I drove Barry, our RV, to Phoenix to shop for kids furniture at IKEA. Then, through the high speed winds, dust, and rain, we proceeded to Tucson (Chris was following me in his Yota). There, we dropped off Barry and Zeus. Then, we drove to Thatcher to visit our friends, Jeff and Laura, and there new baby, Isabella. It was a great trip, regardless of the fact it was sooo short. Isabella is a doll!!! Then, we went back to Tucson to visit with family and friends. We met Ari and Genna's second daughter, Teagan, and got to say 'Hi' to Hailey also :) On Christmas Eve, we went to my dad's house for the evening and looked at old photos and gabbed. Christmas morning was spent at the Murphy's, and we spent the evening at my mom's. It was a day filled with nieces--Imara, Samantha, and Peyton.

We spent a day back in Yuma, and then we headed to San Diego. There, we spent time with our friends Glenn and Jeff. We went to a few U of A events and parties. I just love San Diego! Jeff got a flying lesson for his birthday, so we took him there. The real reason for our trip was the U of A holiday bowl, a football game. We were one of the 67,000ish crazies who sat it the cold and rain only to see the U of A break a record--they were the first team to be shut out in a holiday bowl...how embarassing! But, we had a good time!

Now, we're home. Chris already had to go back to work covering some basketball practices. I was attempting to complete my online traffic class for the ticket I received back in October, but it turns out I have to send in some identity verification forms first. So, instead, I'll probably try to convince Chris to start putting the furniture together for the kid's room :)

Happy belated New Year to you and yours!

All I want for Christmas is...

2009-11-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

1. UA and NAU frames for my college diplomas
2. Recipe book
3. Window tinting for my car
4. Dyson Animal vacuum
5. Flip digital camcorder
6. Sewing basket
7. Britney Spears's The Singles Collection: Ultimate Fan Box
8. Case for my digital camera
9. Anything related to cats
10. Anything related to teaching
11. Anything related to ballet
12. Anything related to American history, especially race and class
13. Anything related to foster care/ adoption

In the moment

2009-10-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

In church two weeks ago, we talked about being mindful. One of the most important times to be mindful is while you're eating. I did this tonight. I ate in complete silence. (Of course, silence is relative.) I focused on my breath as I chewed my food, and I came to the realization that I have a bad habit of not breathing while I chew my food. It's sooo important to breathe while you chew your food. This action forces you to be focused on your food--its taste, smell, texture, etc. When you practice mindful eating, you become satiated at a faster rate, and you eat less. We're also encouraged to think deeply about things while we eat, rather than focus our attention on TV, or something like that.

There will be more to come on this topic :)

Pumpkins

2009-10-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

The Scary Truth About Pumpkins

Pumpkins can be grown with pesticides that are toxins for the human nervous system. Fortunately, it's not hard to find organically grown or pesticide-free jack-o-lanterns near you. Find out more at nature.org/october

Townhome For Rent/Sale

2009-10-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

Does anyone wanna rent or buy our townhome in Tucson?!?

One Month, Four Girls

2009-10-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

September was a busy month for several couples we know! Three couples of friends and one couple who's family each delivered a baby girl each week of the month. First, Ari and Genna had Teagon Kaye. Next, Jeff and Laura had Isabella Milan. After that, Jim and Monica had Peyton Mackenzie. Then, Chris and Lauren had Sophia Rose. Congratulations guys!!! And, by the way, I'm an aunt for the third time :) I LOVE my nieces - Imara, Samantha, and Peyton! Now, the question is...who's going to have the first boy in this group?!?

Where Did 'We' Go?

2009-10-01T20:11:00.000-07:00

The following article was sent to me by my grandma, and I felt the urge to share it with you. Read it. It'll make you think!

The New York Times
September 30, 2009
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Where Did ‘We’ Go?
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN

I hate to write about this, but I have actually been to this play before and it is really disturbing.
I was in Israel interviewing Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin just before he was assassinated in 1995. We had a beer in his office. He needed one. I remember the ugly mood in Israel then — a mood in which extreme right-wing settlers and politicians were doing all they could to delegitimize Rabin, who was committed to trading land for peace as part of the Oslo accords. They questioned his authority. They accused him of treason. They created pictures depicting him as a Nazi SS officer, and they shouted death threats at rallies. His political opponents winked at it all.
And in so doing they created a poisonous political environment that was interpreted by one right-wing Jewish nationalist as a license to kill Rabin — he must have heard, “God will be on your side” — and so he did.
Others have already remarked on this analogy, but I want to add my voice because the parallels to Israel then and America today turn my stomach: I have no problem with any of the substantive criticism of President Obama from the right or left. But something very dangerous is happening. Criticism from the far right has begun tipping over into delegitimation and creating the same kind of climate here that existed in Israel on the eve of the Rabin assassination.
What kind of madness is it that someone would create a poll on Facebook asking respondents, “Should Obama be killed?” The choices were: “No, Maybe, Yes, and Yes if he cuts my health care.” The Secret Service is now investigating. I hope they put the jerk in jail and throw away the key because this is exactly what was being done to Rabin.
Even if you are not worried that someone might draw from these vitriolic attacks a license to try to hurt the president, you have to be worried about what is happening to American politics more broadly.
Our leaders, even the president, can no longer utter the word “we” with a straight face. There is no more “we” in American politics at a time when “we” have these huge problems — the deficit, the recession, health care, climate change and wars in Iraq and Afghanistan — that “we” can only manage, let alone fix, if there is a collective “we” at work.
Sometimes I wonder whether George H.W. Bush, president “41,” will be remembered as our last “legitimate” president. The right impeached Bill Clinton and hounded him from Day 1 with the bogus Whitewater “scandal.” George W. Bush was elected under a cloud because of the Florida voting mess, and his critics on the left never let him forget it.
And Mr. Obama is now having his legitimacy attacked by a concerted campaign from the right fringe. They are using everything from smears that he is a closet “socialist” to calling him a “liar” in the middle of a joint session of Congress to fabricating doubts about his birth in America and whether he is even a citizen. And these attacks are not just coming from the fringe. Now they come from Lou Dobbs on CNN and from members of the House of Representatives.
Again, hack away at the man’s policies and even his character all you want. I know politics is a tough business. But if we destroy the legitimacy of another president to lead or to pull the country together for what most Americans want most right now — nation-building at home — we are in serious trouble. We can’t go 24 years without a legitimate president — not without being swamped by the problems that we will end up postponing because we can’t address them rationally.
The American political system was, as the saying goes, “designed by geniuses so it could be run by idiots.” But a cocktail of political and technological trends have converged in the last decade that are making it possible for the idiots of all political stripes to overwhelm and paralyze the genius of our system.
Those factors are: the wild excess of money in politics; the gerrymandering of political districts, making them permanently Republican or Democratic and erasing the political middle; a 24/7 cable news cycle that makes all politics a daily battle of tactics that overwhelm strategic thinking; and a blogosphere that at its best enriches our debates, adding new checks on the establishment, and at its worst coarsens our debates to a whole new level, giving a new power to anonymous slanderers to send lies around the world. Finally, on top of it all, we now have a permanent presidential campaign that encourages all partisanship, all the time among our leading politicians.
I would argue that together these changes add up to a difference of degree that is a difference in kind — a different kind of American political scene that makes me wonder whether we can seriously discuss serious issues any longer and make decisions on the basis of the national interest.
We can’t change this overnight, but what we can change, and must change, is people crossing the line between criticizing the president and tacitly encouraging the unthinkable and the unforgivable.

a dork

2009-09-26T12:46:00.001-07:00

Ok, now I feel like a dork. I think my previous post is incorrect. Chris and I were just talking about this this morning, but I think we're wrong. 10 years wouldv'e been in 2008. So, CORRECTION: 11 years ago *wink*wink*

Yesterday

2009-09-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, September 25, 2009, marked 10 years since our first date. Wow! You know what they say...Time flies when you're having FUN!

On September 25, 1999, when we were 16 years old, Chris picked me up from work. At that time, I was working at Chuck E. Cheese's. We took his white Nissan truck to Jim's, his oldest brother's place to hang out at a party. I don't remember a whole lot from our first date, because I was really nervous, and I wanted to make a good impression. (Well, obviously I did!) I think my curfew was 10 p.m. back then, so we didn't have a lot of time together, but, looking back on it, I think I did fall in love with Chris on this date. From that point on, he was the only person I constantly wanted to spend time with. And that hasn't changed.

The Interrogation

2009-09-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm currently on hold with SOS CHILD, a child abuse reporting hotline. (OK, I just hung up with him.) Anyway, you'd think they'd be thankful for teachers who call in to report that their student is being neglected. No, instead, I felt like I was under an interrogation. He's like asking a million questions, and when I don't know the answers, he second-guesses me. It was awful! Geez! He determined that my student's case should be reviewed, and he wants me to contact the parents to see if she has underlying medical condition. So, who knows if that call was worth my time or not. Some people have quite the nerve!

Meeting Jose

2009-09-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

Chris and I had our last foster/adoption training today, and we got to meet a foster dad named Jose. He was awesome and totally inspiring. He admitted that he and his wife went into foster care thinking it'd be a piece of cake, because they both work with children. But, it wasn't. Jose described how challenging foster care can be. I wasn't surprised to hear that. He also told us about the rewards of helping children. He currently has an 11 year old boy in addition to his three biological children, so he's really busy! Jose mentioned that the kids get sad when the foster son has family visits, because they miss him at the dinner table. This point clearly emphasizes the fact that foster kids become your kids, eventhough you don't know what the future has in store for them. I guess I just wish that more people could find it in their heart to foster children.

Wilda says...

2009-09-15T19:56:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be a star, not only at Cesar Chavez, but in the Gadsden Elementary School District too!

Wilda Storm (yes, that's her real name) is the author of our writing curriculum, Write Up A Storm! She observed me today, and had nothing but good stuff to say about me. Wow! I felt sooo SPECIAL :) So, now I'm wondering what kinda star I'll be...

Side notes:

Tomorrow, Chris and I have our home inspection for the foster/adoption certification. Cross your fingers that we pass!

I'm currently involved with a dance tribute/contest and a fashion show in San Luis.

My CCES Dance Team is going to start practicing on Monday. Can you think of any catchy names that have to do with dance, or spirit, or pom line and a roadrunner, because that's our mascot?!? Let me know!

In case you missed it

2009-09-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama
Back to School Event

Arlington, Virginia
September 8, 2009

Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.

Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.

I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.

You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.

Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.

I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in.

So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn’t have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.

Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn’t speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I’m thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who’s fought brain cancer since he was three. He’s endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer – hundreds of extra hours – to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he’s headed to college this fall.

And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.

Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren’t any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same.

That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education – and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you’ll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you’ll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you’ll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don’t feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That’s OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.

It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

What's Left

2009-09-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Chris and I have made quite a bit of headway in our foster/adoption paperwork, but we still have to:

complete the life-safety inspection report

copy our vehicle registration

I have to get CPR/First Aid certified

we still have to complete some of the agency's paperwork too

So, that's not bad, considering we started this process 8 weeks ago. I hoping that since we're both feeling better, we'll be able to complete everything before Saturday's training class. I'm actually going to miss the trainings, though. The people have become part of our extended family, and now I'm not going to know what to do with my Saturday mornings!

Dr. Peter Vincent Pakulis

2009-09-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

Celebrating a life well lived...

Dr. Peter Vincent Pakulis
June 12, 1960 - August 28, 2009

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

A fund has been set up for Pati, Colin, Julia, and Alissa Pakulis.

All donations can be made payable to:
The Springs Church
6135 W. Detroit Street
Chandler, AZ 85226

Please write Pakulis on the memo line. 100% of the funds will go directly to the Pakulis family.

8/28/08

2009-08-28T23:03:00.000-07:00

My Uncle Pete died from cancer today. I don't understand death, especially when it's premature. Pete left behind his wife, my Aunt Pati and three children - Colin, Julia, and Alissa. They're the reason his death is so devastating. They still have so much to do in their lives, and he won't be there to experience it with them. That breaks my heart. Pete was such a good husband and father and uncle, and yet a senseless disease claimed his life. I just don't get that. Anyway, I'm going to make more of an effort to spend time with my cousins :)

What I'm Thankful For

2009-08-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

As I was driving to work this morning, a song came on the radio (I can't remember what song it was right now), and it reminded me that I need to focus the majority of my attention on the things I'm thankful for. So, I'm gonna list them here.

1. Lovey
2. Mom
3. Olivia
4. Daddy, John, and Scooby
5. My extended family members
6. My babies: Jackson and Zoe
7. People who are like family to me
8. My friends
9. My co-workers
10. My home
11. My car
12. My career
13. My talents: dance, playing the flute, being creative
14. My computer
15. My health
16. Ameripsych
17. Barry
18. Water toys
19. Nancy
20. Memories

That's a pretty loaded list, so I think I'll stop there. I'm a lucky girl :)

potentially

2009-07-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today is potentially the last day of my summer vacation. One week ago, I applied to the Gadsden Elementary School District, and on Tuesday I scheduled an interview for Wednesday. Due to some certification issues, I had to drive to Tucson and back on Thursday. Friday was the day I found out that I probably have the job, and TODAY is the day I'll know for sure. But, I don't know anything yet, so only time will tell.

If I am hired by the GESD, I'll receive a lot of perks, including:
an increase in pay
a job that I'm highly qualified for
a smaller campus
a 30-dollar-an-hour after school program

There are only a few downsides to the job, which are:
a 30 minute drive
Spanish speaking

3 Good Things

2009-07-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, 3 good things happened to me! In case you haven't noticed, good things (and bad things) always come in threes.

First, I found out that Chris and I CAN start the adoption training classes this Saturday, despite the fact that Chris is going to miss at least four classes. Yea!

Then, I found out that one of my high school students, who's a senior, can be on the AWC Dance Team as long as she takes one AWC credit. That really made my day, because I had just had two dancers quit. Whew! What a relief, because I'm back to having 10 girls on the team.

Third, I got an interview at Cesar Chavez Elementary School, which went amazingly well by the way.

I'm on a roll:)

Things don't always go my way

2009-07-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

But, things always seem to work out for me. I'm currently looking for a new job, because my former school found a "highly qualified" dance teacher to replace me with. So, that sucks! Anyway, I submitted my application for the Gadsen school district yesterday afternoon, and I'm hoping to hear back from them this week. It'll be more money, but in return I'll have to drive about 45 min. each way. Oh well! I can handle it, because that's what I did in Tucson. If this job doesn't pan out, I applied for an administrative assistant position, which is a glorified secretary, at NAU-Yuma. And, if both of those jobs bomb, I'm not sure what I'll do because being a housewife isn't an option.

Dreams

2009-06-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

-Langston Hughes

On Poverty

2009-06-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I attended a two-day workshop on poverty. The workshop focused on key points from Ruby Payne's "A Framework for Understanding Poverty". I think these ideas are important for everyone to understand, especially people who have regular contact with people living in poverty. Here's what I learned:

The causes of poverty are: 1) behaviors of the individual; 2) human and social capital in the community; 3) exploitation; and, 4) political and economic structures.

Poverty is relative.

Poverty occurs in all races. (Rural Poverty vs. Urban Poverty)

Generational and situational poverty are different.

Research on poverty is based on patterns, and all patterns have exceptions.

Schools operate from middle class norms and values.

Focus of people living in poverty: survival, relationships, and entertainment.
Focus of people living in the middle class: work, achievement, and material security.
Focus of people living in the wealthy class: political, financial, and social connections.

Individuals bring with them the hidden rules of the class in which they were raised.

There are cultural differences in poverty.

To move from poverty to the middle class, one must give up (for a period of time) their relationships for achievement.

Two things that help one move out of poverty are: education and relationships.

YOU can build relationships through HIS: high expectations, insistence that they will succeed, and support.

Four reasons one leaves poverty: too painful to stay, vision or goal, key relationship, special talent or skill.

Resources include: financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, support systems, relationships/role models, knowledge of hidden rules.

What can YOU do?
Analyze the person's resources, and make interventions based on the resources that are present.
Understand that failure is often related to missing resources, and identify ways to provide for missing resources.
Remind the person that you're not trying to change them, but you're trying to give them options.

Summer

2009-06-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

So far, Chris and I have enjoyed going to Senator Wash and San Diego this summer. Today, Chris left for San Antonio, TX to attend an athletic training convention. I will be without him for about a week and a half, but I'll stay busy cleaning our house and traveling to Las Vegas, NV for a dance camp. I'm leaving on Friday with the San Luis dance team. It will be partial work and partial fun, because I'm going to be a chaperone. It just so happens that a few of my coworkers will be in Vegas that weekend too! So, maybe I'll have the chance to hang out with them as well. Chris and I are also planning to go to Lake Powell for a few days this summer. Flagstaff might be in our future too, depending on what our friends, Jeff & Laura, want to do. Other than that, I'm going to be taking as many ballet classes as I possibly can to get/stay in shape.

All Done

2009-05-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

I'm all done teaching for the 08-09 school year, and I couldn't be more thrilled! I do still have one more rehearsal and dance to perform, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I'm looking forward to the two vacations I have planned--San Diego and Las Vegas--and a whole lot of relaxing! I want to get our house really clean and organized, so that when our family starts to grow everything will be ready. Chris and I are excited to have biological and adopted children, and we can't wait to start the process! I was contacted today about the orientation schedule for foster/adoptive parents, so we should start that sometime this summer. I'm also hoping that we conceive at some point this summer. Now, that I'm done teaching and taking classes, I should be able to focus on the important things in life: faith, family, friends, fitness, and fun :) Here's to living the life you love and loving the life you live--your BEST life (thanks to Bob and Oprah for those quotes)!!!

Child Witches, Christianity, and The Congo

2009-05-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

A couple of nights ago I caught an episode of "Nightline" that horrified me. There is a new movement taking place in the DRC, Africa involving Christians and witches. It sounds ironic, but it isn't. There are "pastors" charging people $50 to cleanse their children of demons. You should know that the average person living in the Congo only makes $100 per year. When a child is "cleansed", they are bitten, have hot wax poured on their bellies, are burned, and the list goes on. The children who can't be saved, are abandoned by their parents. Young girls are especially susceptible to abandonment. I'm not sure why. They are frequently raped while living on the streets, and they have many children who they struggle to feed. Oh, and there was one boy who was so malnourished, because his mother beleived that starvation would remove his demons. Two little boys that were interviewed were so traumatized that they didn't respond when questioned, and they stared off into another worold. So, while these "Christians" are getting rich, tons of children are being abused, tortured, and abandoned on the streets of the DRC. I don't know what to do about this, but it's obvious that something needs to be done to save these kids.

Traveling

2009-05-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

Whenever I get on the road, I keep my eyes open for my favorite road sign of all time: Blowing Dust Area. When you're in the desert, everywhere is a blowing dust area. Duh!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

2009-05-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

Olivia made it! And, she made it one year early! She is almost officially a high school graduate. The funniest thing about this for me is thinking back to my own graduation, and how Olivia was just a rolly-polly eight year old kid :) And now, she's a beautiful young woman who has a lot of dreams for her future. I want every one of them to come true!

When Olivia was born, I wanted her to be a mini version of me. I resented the fact that she wasn't anything like me at times. I did ballet, she played basketball. I LOVED every moment of high school, and she didn't really care for it. I knew that I wanted to be a teacher since 1st grade, Olivia changes her mind about everything all of the time. We're so different, and yet I admire everything that she is. She is really smart. She dreams big! She takes chances, some of which I wish she wouldn't. There isn't anything safe or predictable about Olivia, and I wish I had a little bit more of that quality in myself. Oh, and my favorite quality about Olivia is that she isn't caught up in other people's opoinions of her. She dresses how she wants to, wears her hair how she wants to with no regard for the in-crowd, etc. I was much too caught up in all of that junk.

All in all, my little sister is awesome.

The Soloist

2009-05-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I went to see "The Soloist" with two friends. They didn't really get it. I did. I grew up with my mom telling me stories about the mentally ill patients she worked with at Kino hospital when she was a psychiatric nurse. These were the same stories reflected in the movie. It probably helped that I watched the TV special about Ayers and Lopez prior to watching the movie. Mental illness scares me, because of the control that it takes away from its vicitims. All in all, I wish people would have more compassion for the mentally ill, the homeless, and the gifted. They may not be people that can be easily related to, but they're people.

See "The Soloist" or read it, or both!

this past weekend

2009-05-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Chris and I had a busy and fun-filled weekend. On Friday night, we attended GRHS's presentation of "Cinderella: The Musical", which was surprisingly good. It didn't quite live up to YHS's version of "Hello, Dolly", but it was entertaining nevertheless. Following the show, we went to Laurel's house for poker. We were too late to join in, but we chatted with people, and it was fun to get out. On Saturday morning, we drove to Tucson for JJ and Jennifer's wedding. Before going to the wedding, we went to Verizon to get new phones. Chris got a BlackBerry Storm, and I got a Nokia something or other. They're great! Anyhow, JJ is our friend from high school, and Jennifer and him have been dating for four years. She has to sons, Christopher and Cayden, from a previous relationship. The wedding was held at a beautiful church on the far northwest side of town. It was beautiful! Chris and I watched the sunset at one point. Then, we all ate dinner at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, La Parilla Suiza, and I got the same thing I always get--bistek tacos. It was so good! SNL was hosted by Justin Timberlake that night, so I tried to stay awake, but I couldn't do it. However, I did see the sequel to "Dick in a Box", which was absolutely hilarious! On Sunday, which was Mom's Day and Chris's 27th b-day, we went to the Blue Willow (another favorite) with my mom and Olivia. It was great. Then, we headed home. Once we got home, we went to Red Lobster for dinner to celebrate Chris's b-day with the gift cards from my mom. I had the most amazing tilapia and shrimp dinner. Wowzers! We rented "Rendition", which was good but way over my head. At the end, I was totally confused. So, all in all, it was a great weekend :)

5/5

2009-05-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

Possibly the dumbest question I've ever asked relates to Cinco de Mayo. Drum roll please...

When is Cinco de Mayo?

Yeah, I actually asked Chris and Ari that question a few years ago in an Albertson's in Tucson. And, it took me a second to realize why they thought that was hilarious! Oh my.

baby news

2009-04-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

It feels like everyone but me is pregnant, which I know is a common feeling among women who want to be pregnant. I've been ready to be a mother for two years now, but Chris wasn't ready to be a father. Well, he's been ready since Christmas, but I'm not pregnant yet. And, I'm feeling pretty frustrated. I'm making an effort to pray and to focus my energy on the following Marianne Williamson quote:

God is bigger than your problem--no matter what its form, size or shape. Pray for a miracle; forces will conspire to heal and make whole.

So, here's the baby news:

Genna and Ari are having a girl.

Heather's having a boy, or at least she's 99% sure.

Jim and Monica are having a girl.

Jeff and Laura think they're having a girl, but won't know for sure until the 18th.

Sarah's having a boy.

I'm not sure what Mike and Harmony are having, and I don't know what Rory and Teresa are having.

A GRHS student is having a boy. Pretty scary for a 16-year-old!

Michelle and Dustin are having a boy.

Correction

2009-04-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I believed that Nelson Mandela had given the most incredible inaugural speech of all time. I was wrong. Apparently, I'm not the only person who has made this mistake. Here's the deal:

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

(See note below about Nelson Mandela)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson is from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191).

Note About Nelson Mandela
This quote is often found on the Internet incorrectly credited to Nelson Mandela from his Inauguration Speech, 1994, especially the last sentence of that quote, “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

For reference, here are links to two official African government sites with Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inauguration Speech:

Mandela: Inauguration Address - Cape Town, 09 May 1994, via South Africa Government Online Official Web site.
Statement Of The President Of The African National Congress Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela At His Inauguration As President Of The Democratic Republic Of South Africa Union Buildings - Pretoria, 10 May 1994, via ANC's (African National Congress) Official Web site.

Not enough

2009-04-26T21:28:00.000-07:00

Dr. Lapan finally got back to me about not being accepted into NAU's C & I doctoral program. Apparently, the committee found that I had "very, very limited professional education related experiences". What that means is that I haven't published any of my writing and/or presented any of my work. It kinda made me regret not having published my senior capstone paper-- "Gendered Education in Training"--when I had the chance to do so in 2004. But, you know what they say...hindsight's 20/20!

You're How Old?

2009-04-26T21:19:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to post a new blog about my b-day weekend for quite some time.

So, I'm now 27. It feels old even though I know it's really not. My Uncle John and Aunt Zandra came to visit for the weekend. They live in Bethesda, MD.

Here's a list of what we did:

Ate at Chretin's
Toured AWC and GRHS
I substituted at YBA and they watched me teach
Ate Shepard's Pie

Walked the West Wetlands Park (saw a coyote for the first time in Yuma)
Ate homemade breakfast
Checked out Yuma Crossing and Territorial Prison
Historic Yuma (AKA downtown)
Read wonderful stories out of the New Yorker
Attended Ballet Yuma's "Current and Classic" (Chris and Zandra both fell asleep)

Woke up to flowers from Chris :)
B-day brunch and Carla Renee's
Colorado King Sunset Dinner Cruise

Petroglyph Site outside of Gila Bend
Ate at "world famous" Little Italy

Farewell!

It was a great weekend :) The hardest part was going back to work on Tuesday.

Another dream

2009-04-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

This is an email I received from facebook today:

Deserea wrote on your Wall:

"So this is kinda crazy, but I have random dreams about people every now and then, and last night I had a dream that I was working at the Women's Hospital here in Baton Rouge as a Nurse and you and Chris had just had a baby girl! She had your big pretty eyes and looked like a little tiny Rachel! How crazy is that!"

a dream

2009-04-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

I had a student tell me today that she had a dream that I was pregnant and had a baby girl. Someday, I hope that dream turns into a reality for Chris and me.

Easter thoughts

2009-04-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

My co-worker and friend, Luz, gave me an Easter card today. Here's what it said:

I hope the first two verses remind you of the love of God demonstrated a Good Friday hundreds of years ago and the hope He revealed three days later.

The last two verses can remind us of how simple it is to show God our love.

"This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." -The Apostle John, 1 John 4:10

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

"If you love Me, keep My commandments." - Jesus, John 14:15

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -Jesus, Mark 22:37-40

Happy Easter!!!

Denied!

2009-04-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

When Chris and I returned from Prescott late Sunday evening, one of the first things we did was go through the mail. There was a letter from NAU's College of Education. This news excited me, because I had yet to hear from the C & I doctoral department regarding my admission to their program. I was denied!

I was more shcoked than anything about this, because I thought I had so much going for me. After all, I had a 4.0 during my master's career, and I graduated with academic distinction. I AM diversity; everything about me is reflective of that fact. Duh! I did average on most of the GRE, and better than average on the math portion of it. I have several years of teaching experience. And, to top it off, I had AMAZING letters of rec. -- two professors who are both NAU C & I graduates; one principal; one department leader; and a fellow teacher.

What more could they want?!?

My mom said it was probably a sign that I should take some time off. But, she has to say that, because she's my mom. Who knows? Maybe she's right.

So, now I'm going to PROBABLY apply to another program. I know that most people who want to become doctors apply to more than one program, but I was just so sure that I'd be accepted to NAU. After all, it's not Harvard!

Do you know what they say happens when you assume?!?

Well, I do. You make an ass out of you and me!

So, now I feel like I have to change the title and address of my blog. But, the question remains...what should I change it to?!?!

Feel free to give me your suggestions:)

99.9% Effective

2009-04-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

I'm annoyed right now about something I believe to be a black and white issue. After all, there's only 0.1% of gray, and, in my opinion, that's not even worth counting! This is how it works--women who want to be pregnant will get pregnant (eventually) even without the man's consent, assuming that the woman has earned the man's trust in the bedroom. If everyone I knew who said their child was an accident/mistake/miracle (whatever you call it still suggests the pregnancy wasn't planned) really was using some type of contraceptive, they wouldn't be pregnant! They can't all be part of the 0.1%!!! It's impossible. So, here's my conclusion--women and men who don't want to have a baby at this very moment...WON'T! It's the women who "forget" to take their pill and the men who are too "caught up in the heat of the moment" who have unplanned pregnancies. DUH! Am I the only one who gets this? So, please stop the ignorance now, and save me the headache I've been dealing with from all of these people who tell me, "We didn't even mean to get pregnant. It just happened." Save it! I don't believe you. Remember: honesty is the best policy, so be honest with yourself and be honest with me. Thanks. I'm done. I think I'll get off of my soapbox now.

How to get the husband you want

2009-04-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

So, if you couldn't tell already, I'm writing so many posts, because Chris is still @ work, and I'm avoiding my HW. Anyway, one of the things I've done today was listen to a message from TVC, about how to get the husband you want. Drum roll, please. And, the final answer...be the wife you need to be!

Here are three things you need to do as a wife to get the husband you want:

1. Sexual fulfillment

Men desire sex. Duh! And, as a wife, it is your responsibility to become one with your husband. Sex is an important part of marriage. Like fire, it is warm, beautiful, and comforting when contained in the proper place.

2. Attraction

When your husband first met you, he thought to himself, "Holy Smokes! That girl is HOT!!!" Continue to make yourself attractive for your husband. In other words, don't let yourself go, because men are visual beings. Chris always recieved trophies gorwing up for playing soccer, boy scouts, and some other activities. That was then. I am his trophy now, and it is my duty to him to keep myself looking the best that I can. One caveat--men can't exp[ect their wives to look like something out of a magazine, because we weren't created by computer imaging; we were created by God.

3. Respect and Affirmation

Men have big egos, and they need to be praised continuously. Remind your husband on a daily basis that you are proud of him; that you enjoy how he makes you feel; that his work is an integral part of your existence as a family. Tell him that you're amazed by who he is and how he makes you a better person. When you do this, he will in turn show you more affection.

So, now here comes the tough part. You have to ask yourself if you are the wife your husband deserves. When you can honestly say that you are, you'll have the husband you want!

On the road again

2009-04-03T15:14:00.000-07:00

Chris and I were so excited to find out that Ron and Nonie had decided to buy us a newer, bigger, and better motorhome! We have been using a 20 ft. Mobile Traveler that they bought several years ago for any of the boys to use. Jim ended up getting his own motorhome a couple of years ago, and Doug was using the one we have now, until he had some personal issues to sort out. So, to make an even longer story somewhat shorter, Chris and I are getting a new RV! And, Doug is going to take back the one we've been "babysitting" for him.

Our new RV is an American and sleeps six people. I can't remember how long it is, but it's considerably longer than the Mobile. Here are a couple of pictures of it:

I like them Latin girls

2009-04-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago, I enrolled in a late-start Latin dance class at AWC. At first, I was dreading the class because it's held from 8:45-10 PM, which is normally my bedtime, but I've actually been enjoying myself. So, I wanted to share with you a little about the three styles of Latin dance I've learned thus far:

BACHATA -
Bachata is a Latin dance originating in the Dominican Republic. It is a romantic dance, as partners hold each other close and sway to the music.

MERENGUE -
The Merengue is the national dance of the Dominican Republic, and also to some extent, of Haiti, the neighbor sharing the island.

There are two popular versions of the of the origin of the Dominican national dance, the Merengue. One story alleges the dance originated with slaves who were chained together and, of necessity, were forced to drag one leg as they cut sugar to the beat of drums. The second story alleges that a great hero was wounded in the leg during one of the many revolutions in the Dominican Republic. A party of villagers welcomed him home with a victory celebration and, out of sympathy, everyone dancing felt obliged to limp and drag one foot.

SALSA -
Salsa is a dance for Salsa music created by Spanish-speaking people from the Caribbean and their immigrant communities in the US. Salsa dancing mixes African and European dance influences through the music and dance fusions that are the roots of Salsa: SonGuaguancó, Rumba, Boogaloo, Pachanga, Guaracha, Plena, and Bomba.

So far, I've enjoyed the Bachata dance the most. Merengue hurts my hip sockets after a while, and Salsa just plain confuses me, because it's opposite of the grapevine.

differentials

2009-01-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

As Billie Holiday reminded us half a century ago:

Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible says,
and it still is news.

With a wave

2009-01-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

Bush leaves the White House!

I wish I could've been on the mall in Washington, D.C. this morning to watch Barack Obama be sworn in as our 44th president. But, I still got chills just watching it on my lap top at school. I'm so amazed by him, and I'm looking forward to the next eight years:)

Make My Day

2009-01-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

One of the things on my to do list today was to schedule a videographer for our performance on 2/9, but I was apprehensive, because I don't have a lot of money in our school budget to pay for these types of services. So, David from Yuma Video called be back rather promptly, and he said that he wouldn't charge us to film our show. And, to top it off, he said that the DVDs will only cost my students &10 each! Isn't that AMAZING?!? Well, to say the least, he made my day!!!

Actually, today has been a great day so far, which is another reason I love Sundays! Chris and I woke up, ate breakfast and went on a walk. Then, Curtis came over (he's still here) and John's here, and we're grilling carne asada. It's going to be delicious. This is just what I needed before the school week starts:)

priceless

2009-01-08T21:09:00.001-08:00

Principles of Curriculum Construction $850.00

Advanced SEI for ELL $465.00

Secondary English AEPA $105.00

AZ Const. and Government Priceless (only because Chris works at AWC)

Each January

2009-01-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

I look forward to choosing a new calendar for the year. Chris and I are fortunate enough not to have to go out and purchase a calendar, because we get several sent to us throughout the course of the year. In late 2008, we received calendars from National Wildlife Federation, The Nature Conservancy, Arbor Day Foundation, and El Paso Natural Gas. Of these agencies, we only donated to ADF. I've chosen to display The Nature Conservancy calendar in our office, because the photos it contains were taken by real people who just happened to win a contest. And, they're absolutely breathtaking displays of Mother Earth. So, it you're in need of a 2009 calendar, I've got three up for grabs!

reverse chronological order

2008-12-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I saw the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" which is about a guy whose life goes in reverse. The woman with whom he fell in love with at a young age and him reconnect somewhere in the middle of their lives, and they share an incredibly enduring love. As she ages typically, he goes on to die in a baby's body. Although he fathered a child with her, he could not be a father to his daughter because of his curious case. And, to put the cherry on top, there was ballet dancing in the movie:) I really enjoyed it, but I'm a sucker for love stories and Brad Pitt. One day, I'll have to write about my own love story with Chris, because it has been something so tremendous that most people would have to read about it in a book to believe it is even possible.

Making a Difference

2008-11-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I made a difference. Yesterday, one of my coworkers asked me to explain my reasoning behind voting for Barack Obama, so I did. I told him that I am pro-choice, want to end the war in Iraq, don't believe in drilling in Alaska for oil, and want some tax relief. Today, he came to me and told me that I had helped him make a decision about who to vote for. I couldn't believe that my brief conversation with him was enough to convince him to vote for Obama. I was, and am still, THRILLED that I was able to make a difference!

Obamarama

2008-11-02T10:07:00.000-08:00

Chris and I will be hosting an Obamarama party on Tuesday, November 4th to celebrate history in the making! I'm thrilled to be living through this definitive point in US history! I thought I had missed all of the good stuff from the 50s and 60s, but it turns out that there are still exciting times on the horizon. Phew! What a relief! Barack the VOTE!!!!!

Jackson

2008-10-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

Jackson is my six year old cat whom I love and adore. With Jackson, it was love at first sight. I adopted him from the Humane Society of Tucson when I was a twenty year old college student living in a duplex on Halcyon with Amarett. He is the most UNIQUE cat ever! First of all, he has a lot of characteristics that dogs have. He licks too much, which drives me nuts! He growls when people come to the door. He follows me around everywhere! Then, he does a lot of weird things too. For example, he chatters at the sight of birds, when I sneeze or cough, and when Zeus walks past him. If you scratch his behind, he'll start licking like crazy! (Chris likes to make him do that, and I hate it.) Oh yeah, and his tail shakes constantly! It's weird. Jackson love to head butt anything and everything. And, when he head butts your face it's pretty painful. He enjoys sleeping on my head, or as close to it as he possibly can. He has a funny sounding purr. I think he has allergies too. His back feet hit each other when he walks. He loves to be smothered by me. He lies right where I'm trying to walk. Jackson loves to eat! If I am ever in the laundry room, he's eating. When I get a bag from the pantry, he runs to follow me into the laundry room, because he knows that I'm going to clean the shitter (i.e., litter box). He loves to sunbathe in our bedroom, or in front of the backdoor, when the sunlight hits the carpet. Sometimes he sneezes, and he has the most high-pitch, cut meow that I've ever head! One of the things I love most about Jackson, is that Zeus is afraid of him, and that cracks me up. So, yeah that's my googie boy, Jackson.

Top Ten List

2008-10-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

The top ten reasons Barack Obama is going to be the next President of the U.S.:
1. He has more hits than the other guy when you Google him
2. He is the biggest celebrity in the world
3. He graduated from Harvard
4. He is ahead in the polls
5. He has more money to spend
6. He is taller than the other guy
7. He is more attractive than the other guy
8. His VP isn't a complete dimwit
9. He is younger than the other guy
10. Because I want him to be

Friday and Saturday

2008-09-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was super long for me. The night before, I only got a few hours of sleep because my mind was racing. At school on Friday, I worked the football game. They pay teachers $10/hour to sell tickets and other things of that nature. After the game, we had hawkcoming, which was our variation of a homecoming. So, I was at school until about 12:15 a.m. Saturday morning I tried to sleep in, but my body wouldn't let me. I went into school at 11, and I worked there until 3. Then, I was craving Arby's, so I got mozzarella sticks and a cheddar beef sandwich. That really hit the spot! I took a well-deserved nap, and before I knew it, it was time to get ready for the AWC football game. I ended up being about 10 minutes late meeting Rachel, Jason, Monica, Sean, and Cole. We ate carne asada and pollo asada together in the Matador Tent. After we took our seats in the bleachers, we started noticing a slew of Gila Vista parents and kids. Eventually, we realized that these people were there to support their daughters who were cheerleading with AWC that night. So, I saw one of my most hated students. But, oddly enough, he was still happy to see me, which is good I guess. The game lasted until 10ish, and then I went home and watched Saturday Night Live. There were some awesome political skits on it!!! Afterwards, I watched Dr. 90210. Then, the bed called my name.

Annoying right brainers

2008-09-11T20:35:00.000-07:00

I'm a left brainer and proud of it! It drives me nuts how right brainers are so unorganized and fly-by-the-moment. What makes me even more crazy is working with people like that. I'm doing my best to be understanding and patient, but I've almost had enough. I think right brainers should try harder to be like left brainers. Or, at least the right brainers that I have to work with in a collaborative environment.

Since it has been a while...

2008-08-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

I decided to go ahead and post something. It's going to be about the things that I want. So, I want:
1. a baby
2. my doctorate
3. to move

I'm not sure to go about accomplishing all of these things, because they conflict with each other. If I have a baby, I'm not going to have a lot of time and energy to pursue my doctorate. If I pursue my doctorate, Chris and I aren't going to have enough money to move into another house. So, I'm stuck, and I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just keep reminding myself that patience is a virtue, and I should be a virtuous person.

killing bugs

2008-07-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

An exterminator from Chief Pest Control is here right now making me a very happy woman, because he is killing bugs around our house. Especially the evil crickets!

Lake Powell

2008-07-06T10:26:00.001-07:00

Chris and I just got back from a one week vacation to Lake Powell. We were invited by our friend John. Twelve of us stayed on a houseboat, and it was a great time! John's parents, John and Leona, are 81 and 82 years old, and they're a riot! John's sister and brother-in-law, Cheryl and Bill, also came along for the ride. Their daughter and son-in-law, Erin and Drew, joined us a couple of days into the stay. And, John's buddy, Lissa, added a unique element to the group. Lastly, our friends from Yuma, Cindy and Brent, traveled in the Suburban with us to and from the lake.

We spent Friday night in Flagstaff, and then we headed to Page, AZ on Saturday morning. The lake is HUGE! And, it is surrounded by mountains made of sandstone that literally crumble right before your eyes. Our houseboat was named Tranquility, and it was one of the more modest boats on the lake. There's a lot of money floating on Lake Powell!

During the trip, I read "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks, and it was a beautiful love story. It only took me a couple of days to read. Chris put on an awesome fireworks show too! It was like a professional one. I also kayaked for the first time and absolutely loved it! We also rode our jet ski and swam in the lake.

Overall, the trip was very relaxing, but I was happy to get home to my googs!

finishing up the year

2008-06-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

It's funny how teachers think about finishing up the year in June! Well, we do. At this point in time, I'm cleaning out my classroom slowly, but surely. All of the kids keep saying how weird it looks. Anyhow...

I'm full of anticipation to begin my new job as a dance and drama teacher at Gila Ridge High School in August. Less work, more money sounds good to me:)

So, here's to three more days of school!

Class of 2008

2008-05-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

On Friday, May 16, 2008 I graduated from Northern Arizona University - Yuma Branch Campus. It was a great feeling to have the past two years behind me! And, somehow I managed to keep my 4.o!!! So for that, I was invited to participate in the Honors Convocation, in which the candidate for an associates degree were more celebrated than us, people getting their masters. Huh? Afterwards, I participated in the graduation ceremony, which dragged on and on. In the end, I'm glad I chose to walk, but it makes for a pretty long day. On a side note - I didn't have my hood or honors cords, so I was upset about that, because I felt naked.

My unconventional family came to visit me for the weekend, and we had a really good time together. I wasn't sure if everything would turn out well, but it did. So, that made me very happy. I'm looking forward to the next time, when I get to wear a fancy gown and hood and people use a prestigious title to address me:) Hopefully, that's in five or six years, making it the Class of 2013 or 2014. Time will tell.

one step closer

2008-05-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

I'm one step closer to finishing my lengthy college education. It has been eight years since I first enrolled at the University of Arizona, and I'm still at least four years from my ultimate goal of obtaining a doctorate. And after two long years, I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that, because my feelings change from day to day.

In Literature today, my students and I read an excerpt from the short story "Eleven." In it, Rachel, the narrator, comes to the realization that your age encompasses all of the ages experienced before it. So me being 26 years old is really me being 26, 25, 24, 23, 22...11, 10, 9...3, 2, and 1. When we live our day-to-day lives, we have moments of being any one of the given ages. And that is exactly how I feel about college. Some days I'm an extremely confidant 26 year old who knows that great things are worth the work. But on other days, I'm an insecure sixteen year old who worries that I'm not good enough, not worthy enough, to complete the highest degree.

As of now, I'm definitely going to apply to the program and, upon being accepted, begin the coursework. That's all I'm ready to think about for now, not the second year, or third, or fourth, or possibly fifth, or six, etc. I know that everything happens for a reason, and I will get my doctorate if and when I do. (I'm not sure what age was talking there, maybe my 20 year old self.)

Finals

2008-05-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

I just finished my last final of this semester. Days like today make me wonder why exactly I'm hell-bent on getting a doctorate. On Facebook, one of my friends posted about her last final EVER, and I wondered to myself when I would take my last final EVER...who knows?!?

People who are homeless

2008-04-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

should NEVER own dogs! It's cruel and unusual punishment, and it should be illegal.

On my way home from work today, I noticed a woman sitting down on the lawn of a McDonald's, and panting next to hear was a dog. It was skinny and had its tail between its legs. It made me angry.

Lethal Injection

2008-04-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

Apparently, it's a good thing that I am not a member of the Supreme Court, because I never agree with those people. Lethal injection, and executions in general, should not exist in the U.S. or any other country for that matter.

How are people able to put another person to death without one hundred percent certainty that that person is guilty of a crime? And even when they are without doubt, how can they take the life of another person?

I will never understand execution, because children learn what they live and as adults they act on the dysfunction that has consumed them. When you learn about the childhoods of the people on death row, you begin to understand their pain (pain is at the heart of dysfunction and the reason why people commit crimes) and how they came to be in their situation. Then, you see them as a human being, not a monster who deserves to die.

As a teacher, especially, I feel like I have an insight into the painful lives of children because I know what some of my students have already lived through in their short lives. And, whatever path they choose for their future, I would never wish death upon them.

Our country needs to come together, love and discipline our children, in order to avoid the need for capital punishment. It is an issue of time and money. But, it is not our job to bring them to their deaths, because that will happen naturally and the most evil people will have their judgment day.

Ballet...

2008-04-14T20:40:00.001-07:00

kicked my ass tonight!!!

fair night

2008-04-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

A group of us went to the Yuma County fair last night. First thing first, we had to get our hands on the amazing food. Over priced and delicious! I had a gigantic bbq pork sandwich and a diet soda to even things out. Next, we went to ride the rides. But, I don't actually like to ride the rides, so I just watched with a few other people who don't do rides. It actually made me feel sick just watching!

This entire time, we were having a contest to see who could identify the most students, present and former, at the fair. I think the top count was 42. Oh, the joys of being a teacher!

There are the most decadent cinnamon rolls at the fair. They put Cinnabon to shame! And, that's saying a lot! So, Chris and I shared one of those. Mmm...

I think I forgot to mention the 4H animals somewhere in there. Well, we looked at them too. It's weird to me that the preppiest kids ever raise pigs, steers, goats, etc. Do you know what they do if their animal dies in the process of them raising it? They simply enter its carcass into the competition. Hmm...

Baby goats are adorable! I might be able to handle one of those in the future.

What else did we do? We watched a hypnotist hypnotize ten people. One of the people happened to be one of my coworker's boyfriend, Will, the scrawniest Marine you've ever seen in your life. Anyhow, I was in disbelief the whole time, but it seemed real. Who knows?!?

Oh yeah...you were supposed to be 16 to participate in the hypnotizing, but one of our students, Sabrina, volunteered and she's only 14. I'm going to have to mention that to her on Monday. I love being a teacher!

At the end of the night, I went on the ferris wheel. I'm even scared to be on that ride, because the older I get the more afraid of heights I become. And, the fact that I could've died on it doesn't help me out too much either!

poker night

2008-03-31T16:46:00.001-07:00

My coworkers and I get together on a regular basis for Poker Night. Each person prepares a dish, and we all eat dinner together and then sit down for a couple of rounds of Texas Hold 'Em. It's almost become a tradition, and it's a lot of fun!

Well, last night marked my first win! Yea! I beat Chris, and I was so happy that I screamed:) It was a long game, because the pots kept shifting between Chris, Monica, and me. But, I finally did it--I won!

Afterwards, we went to Crazy Earl's, a bar in the Foothills, so I used my poker pot of ten dollars to buy Chris and me a couple of drinks. It was so awesome to be out on a Sunday night, because as teachers we don't get to do that very often. We danced to the Cupid Shuffle, Fergie, Britney, and Snoop. All-in-all, it was a good time. Plus, I got to know Tess, one of my coworkers, a lot better, and she seems like a nice person. And, it was her birthday, so we wished her a happy b-day on the pool table score board:)

flying high

2008-03-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

I was watching a show about dreams and what they mean. The expert featured on the program said that if you're ever flying in your dream, it means that you're content with your life because you're in a really good place. So, I thought back and couldn't remember a single time when I was flying in my dreams. I'm not sure exactly what that means, because I feel like I'm generally happy with things. Also, if there's ever a time in your dreams when your teeth fall out, it represents a sense of holding back something you've been wanting to say. I think it's all very interesting!

Here's to flying high!

two years ago

2008-03-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

Two years ago I was spending my time as a newlywed with my husband at the Arizona Inn.

As I sat up tonight, typing away at the computer trying to finish two last minute article reviews for EPS 610, I began to reflect on our wedding, our reception, and the amazing days that followed. I'd love to be there right now teaching Chris about hot water and lemon hand soaks, laying out by the pool, walking the grounds and listening to people who saw me the night before remind me of what a beautiful bride I was.

Unfortunately, the only luxury I can afford myself now is the satisfaction of knowing that doing my homework is earning me a master's degree that is going to help pay for mini-vacations to the AZ Inn for many anniversaries to come. I can't wait!!!

A More Perfect Union

2008-03-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

Remarks of Senator Barack Obama: 'A More Perfect Union'

Philadelphia, PA | March 18, 2008
As Prepared for Delivery

"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at its very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naÃ¯ve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is the true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

you don't get it

2008-03-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

On a regular basis, I find myself wondering why there are so many people in this country who just don't get it. I hear them talking in the teacher's lounge, on the campus of NAU-Yuma, and on TV. It seems like they're everywhere! They remind me of my dad's song, "You Don't Get It."

Olivia

2008-03-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

Olivia is growing up so fast! She's going to be sixteen on Sunday, and I can't believe it. I'm so proud of the person she has become and the person I know she'll be. There isn't anyone I would have rather given up being an only child to.

I'll never forget the day my mom told me she was going to have a baby. (I was being my OC self and arranging the stuffed animals in my bedroom.) I also remember wondering if my mom could have anything other than a boy or a girl! No, apparently that isn't possible. Although, Olivia looked very similar to a baby monkey when she was born.

As children, we shared good times and bad times. I think six and sixteen were the hardest ages for us to co-exist. Ugh! There are pros and cons to being ten years apart, and if you asked us we'd probably have different answers. But, unless the unexpected happens, I don't plan on having a ten year gap between my children.

Barack Obama

2008-03-03T18:17:00.000-08:00

In my anticipation of tomorrow's outcomes, I want to spread a quote from Barack Obama.

“Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.”
-Barack Obama

Giving

2008-02-13T18:17:00.000-08:00

I am in the profession of giving. I am a teacher. The children I teach need a lot of love, and everyday I show them love. I constantly give them the things they ask for and the things I think they need. It's exhausting!

Today, my principal asked me to give more, especially to the students who are the least receptive. I understand where he's coming from, but I am overwhelmed by his request. I cannot give anymore than I do already.

I want my students to give more. I want their parents to give more. I want our administration to give more. I want our community to give more. I want our state to give more. I want our nation to give more. Because I am not the only person responsible for giving my students what they want, what they need, and what they deserve.

I want people to realize that teaching is a calling. It is a way of life. Since first grade, I knew that I would be a teacher. I have realized my dream.

Super Tuesday

2008-01-28T19:11:00.000-08:00

I have my official early balloting material in front of me right now, and I'm pumped up to vote! It should be interesting to see what happens...

Just Right

2008-01-27T12:25:00.000-08:00

It's rainy right now in Yuma and has been for most of the day. Chris is asleep on the couch with Zoe. Jackson is sleeping on our bed. Everything seems just right. Sunday has always been my favorite day of the week for reasons like these.

Identity

2008-01-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight's class discussion about theories of psychology got me thinking about identity. Many theorists (e.g., Erikson) argue that a person must realize who they are, their identity, before intimately committing to another person. I disagree. At the age of 16, when I met Chris, I didn't know who I was. I'm not even 100% sure of who I am today, but I am fully and deeply committed to Chris. A woman in class shared her story about how she was married at 16 and divorced at 21. She argued that her lack of identity was to blame for her divorce. I'm just not sure...

What I know to be true and real is destiny. Chris and I created our destiny. We've worked hard to maintain our relationship, because we are both in it forever and believe that we are each other's destiny. I'm not sure where the theory comes into all of this, but I know that our love is real.

things of importance

2008-01-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

The textbook for my class about educational psychology cost me $118.50. One book. No CD or anything else that is worth my while. How utterly disappointing. It made me think back to this past summer and the history of public education class that I took. I don't think my professor ever mentioned the date in which public education became a business. Oh well.

I'm off of my soap box now. (Just thought I'd let you know.)

Life and Death:
Something else that has been on my mind is the taking away of human life. The Democrats and Republicans like to blame each other for the desecration of the human race. When, in reality, they're both to blame. Democrats support a woman's right to have an abortion (a.k.a the right to privacy) and Republicans support war and the death penalty. This doesn't make sense.

I'm confused.

Human life is miraculous and should be treated as so.

facebook: The People Place
Over the last several days, I've reconnected with a lot of my friends through facebook. Girls I used to dance with in the Tucson Regional Ballet Company...people from middle and high school...former coworkers...childhood friends. It has been amazing! The entire experience has brought me to a new understanding of friendship.
When I was younger, I valued my friends for the ways in which they made me feel, not their unique gifts. Reading through the profiles of my friends on facebook, I realized how phenomenal each one of them is. My friends are ballerinas; graduate students; costume designers; photographers; baristas; parents; politicians; and social workers.
I'm fortunate to have been exposed to their greatness, and I appreciate every moment they have shared with me.

PERFECTIONism:
Nothing is ever good enough when I'm... getting ready for work... writing...cleaning...teaching...preparing a meal...folding clothes...doing homework...putting my makeup on...making my coffee...talking...eating...doing my hair...and, everything can be better.

All of this, because I'm consumed by PERFECTIONism.

lotus day spa

2008-01-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I experienced four hours of much-needed, well-deserved bliss. The Lotus Day Spa in Yuma gave me a little piece of heaven! For Christmas, Chris gave me a gift card for the spa. After trying to schedule a weekend appointment, which was impossible, I decided to take a day off of work and go to the spa. I admit it, I'm a rebel. I received a massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure. My nails are painted Pink Orchid by OPI. It's so pretty! I think it's important for people, especially women, to take time for themselves to relax and rejuvenate. I'm slowly learning how to do just this. I know spa days work miracles, because I no longer get chronic migraine headaches. The spa definitely lowers my stress. When was the last time you took the day off to go to the spa?

In the beginning

2008-01-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

This blog marks the beginning of my journey through NAU's doctoral program. I'm pursuing my Ed.D. in Curriculum and Instruction, and the fun's just beginning. (And, a lot of work!) I'm working on compiling the many parts of my application, and the deadline is August 1st.